I’m sorry to hear that’s how they handled your complaint. I also understood based on their CoC and their blog post from September 2021 with CoC Updates that in this case they would go for a meeting between you and the offender (Code of Conduct Updates - go.dev).
They don’t have an elaborate CoC policy beyond what’s on their CoC page. Based on that, I don’t expect them to make value judgements on offending behavior, even if you ask for it (i.e. I wouldn’t expect them to answer your direct question on whether they approve this behavior. thought I wish they would have explained this to you themselves). As I understand the Steward is there to listen to your complaint, respect you experience and feelings, and help you get to a point where you experience improve so that you can continue to participate in the community. In misunderstandings and mild cases this can be simple.
I’m afraid that they may have assessed the situation to be mild and resolved, before you were satisfied. I think it’s fair to go back to the steward and say that you are still feeling uncomfortable to participate and would appreciate a conversation because at this point you can’t continue to contribute to the Go Project and have fears of contributing to any OSS project and you would like to have an open conversation about his. And that you think that with some listening and understanding from the other side you could feel reassured and get over this.
I am not sure if you will like the reply, or experience… I am concerned that they are quick to resolve and judge based on their own experience and it might be born out of many things, weariness of these processes (that blog post says they are dealing with 1-2 complaints per week), feeling victimized or attacked themselves, lack of skills in how to handle difficult conversations (conversations where they need to have high listening skills and emotional intelligence), or something as simple as the timing of the conversation on the day you meet being at a low energy point and they just won’t have the resources to do it well. That said, it might also be a much more positive experience just as you hope. Text conversations are very difficult mediums to discuss misunderstandings emerging from previous text conversations and it could be that as you switch to voice you will all have an easier time to connect with empathy and hear in each others voices the sincerity, respect, and encouragement. I truly hope it’s the latter - but being ready for both is a good idea for your own wellness.
You do have another option in the CoC, given you already had an unsatisfying experience with the steward:
If for any reason you are uncomfortable reaching out to the Project Stewards, please email the Google Open Source Programs Office at firstname.lastname@example.org .
As for you last remark about speaking about this publicly. I personally would do the same. don’t bury your emotions and cause yourself more harm. Choosing not to link and mention the offender’s name is respectful, and shows that you are still open to the resolution of a misunderstanding. I personally appreciate this, and I hope he would too. I can only hope that the Go Project and community value this discourse in the long view of things, because it is what they need to improve their community and make it more welcoming and more open. But I would say - it sounds like they are a bit overwhelmed right now, and I hope they don’t feel that way for a long time and burnout.
I hope this is helpful and more than anything I hope you realize that you are not alone in feeling like it can be hard to get started in open source. There are other projects that have done more culture and community work, which might feel more welcoming. And there are some communities which support minoritized people in OSS so that you have a network, and resources for this kind of situations, and don’t feel alone. I hope you will be able to find those for the projects you are interested in and find your way in, so long as you want to.